


Soup and Spices

by Kyriadamorte



Series: If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Awkwardness, F/M, Food, Gratuitous headcanons about Jakku, Mostly pre-ship, The Last Jedi Speculation fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 08:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12384564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyriadamorte/pseuds/Kyriadamorte
Summary: “I brought you some food."Yes, her hair is gone, but Jakku still lingers in many ways.TLJ/post-TLJ speculation fic





	Soup and Spices

**Author's Note:**

> So this is going to be completely jossed by canon in less than two months, but my muse latched on SUPER hard to that trailer and here we are. Most details are left intentionally vague so that the jossing won't be TOO outrageous (hopefully).
> 
> Excited to post my first Reylo (and first Star Wars) fic. I've been mostly a reader/lurker in this fandom since TFA and it's exciting to finally contribute :-)

In light of all the dramatic speeches, Rey finds it a bit odd how quiet the ship is.

 

They dance around each other, their newly formed alliance perhaps a bit too delicate to withstand more than a few minutes in the same room.When Kylo comes in to relieve her for the night (or day? It’s always a bit hard to tell in space), he mumbles a quick “I’ve got it,” while pretending to stare at a screen that is conspicuously blank.She doesn’t call him on it.Her quiet “Thanks” is addressed to his shoulder as she all but dashes out the door.

 

Their days continue in this weird tidal rhythm as they continue to run from everything and try to figure out what they’re running _towards_.For the most part, they keep to themselves, giving each other an unnecessary berth when they happen to pass each other in the hallways.

 

She’s not entirely sure about Kylo, but she spends most of her time alone in meditation.She tries to find peace, to center herself, to build some kind of ground to stand on after everything was pulled out from under her (again).

 

_Breathe; just breathe._

 

She breathes a lot.It doesn’t help.

 

Other times, well…. She’s never been vain, but sometimes, especially right after she wakes up, she catches herself staring into the cloudy mirror above the tiny, grungy sink.She runs her hands through the hair that falls loosely to her shoulders ( _let the past die)_ and it’s silly, she knows, but she still aches at the loss of her three buns.She _chose_ it, after all, and it’s just hair; living in the desert should have cured her of this kind of sentimentality, but….

 

She’d thought about simply chopping it all off ( _kill it, if you have to)_ , but that melodrama is a bit too close to _his_ for comfort.One of them has to be reasonable and pragmatic and, since it’s obviously not going to be Kylo, that duty seems to fall to her.

 

She wonders if he ever feels this way about his mask, if his own face ever feels like a stranger’s.

 

~

 

Surprisingly, what breaks the radio near-silence isn’t anything that dramatic.There’s no clash of lightsabers, no explosion of heated words or accusations.Even the constant brush of their minds and the occasional shared dream didn’t push them into actual verbal communication.No, of all things, it was food. 

 

Well, perhaps it’s not _so_ surprising.On Jakku, Rey had to brave many awkward or unpleasant conversations in the name of scraping together a few quarter portions.Food is important - more basic, more primal even than the Force.

 

They’ve been on the run for only a few days when they run out of the single-sized portions.The hand-sized packets still feel huge to Rey, but her stomach has recently stretched enough that she’s now able to finish them without feeling ill afterwards.Polishing off this larger, family-sized packet, however, would be a impressive feat even for someone who hadn’t lived for years on the cusp of starvation.There’s nothing for it, though; the ingredients aren’t spread evenly in a way that would make cutting off a corner a viable option.When it’s done cooking, she pours herself a generous bowl, but the pot is still mostly full. 

 

Rey is a child of the desert.  She cannot bear to waste food.

 

She fights back nerves as she makes her way to the cockpit, levitating a bowl in each hand to keep the heat off her palms. _This is ridiculous; if Finn can waltz back into the heart of the first Order,_ she tells herself, _you can bring your new ally some dinner.Or lunch, possibly.Maybe breakfast._

 

“I brought you some food,” she says, in lieu of a more civilized greeting.On Jakku, those words held a near ritualistic power.They could signal beginning of an apology, the foundation of a request, a marriage proposal.They could make bitter enemies put down their weapons and listen to negotiations for peace.Yes, her hair is gone, but Jakku still lingers in many ways.

 

He jumps, though he must have felt her coming.His eyes meet hers for the first time since he extended his hand to her (it feels like a lifetime ago).He looks slightly bewildered - perhaps he thinks she’s going to dump a bowl over his head?He takes it from her, though (eventually), and begins to fumble with the small spoon attached to the side.

 

“Thank you,” he says, his eyes still searching hers.

 

She gives him a nod and a small smile and turns to leave when-

 

“Wait,” he blurts out,“That is, I- you can stay.If you want.Here.With me.”

 

He’s usually all poetry and drama when he speaks, his voice a slowly approaching thunderstorm, but she finds this stumbling awkwardness entertaining (and endearing) enough that she actually agrees.

 

~

 

Seeing him eat is oddly bizarre.

 

It’s been a long while since she’s pictured him as that creature in a mask and she knows he’s a person who cries and sweats and bleeds (Force knows she’s caused enough of the latter two), but seeing him funnel rations into his face with a spoon that’s slightly too shallow is…odd.And a bit funny.

 

It gets worse when he scrunches his nose at the taste, looking every inch the spoiled princeling.Then, he does this ridiculous thing where he sucks on his teeth and tongue and he looks a bit like a _shovak_ and Rey can’t help it anymore and let’s out what can only be described as a snort.It rings out obnoxiously loud in the nearly silent cockpit and Kylo gives her a questioning side-eye with a single raised eyebrow and that’s when Rey loses it.

 

She bursts into a string of giggles that she tries to smother, but that only makes it worse and soon a bit of soup has come out her nose.

 

Now _he’s_ laughing at _her_ and the gentle prodding at her mind asks _‘What is it?What’s so funny? Tellmetellmetellme.’_

 

How is she supposed to explain without offending him or sounding like a mad woman?She let’s him in, just a bit more so he can see his own face and feel her amusement and she tries to send _‘I’m sorry it doesn’t meet up with your high standards, Your Majesty.’_ She’s not sure how successful she is; he always seems to sense as much of what she _doesn’t_ want him to see as of what she _does._

 

He seems to pick up on enough of it, though, because he rolls his eyes before chuckling softly.

 

“It tastes like mud boiled in bantha piss,” he says, taking another grimacing sip.

 

Something about the dread Kylo Ren saying “bantha piss” has her snickering again.Must be all the stress; she’s not usually this slap-happy.

 

“I’m still surprised about how much food we have at all,” she says, still grinning slightly, “Give me too many choices and I might not be able to handle it.”

 

She means it as a joke, but when she says it the small smile that’s been growing at the corner of his mouth disappears and his features fall into a look of concern.A beat later, he asks, “What’s the longest you’ve gone without food?”

 

He seems to realize what he’s said and she can feel the beginnings of an apology forming in his mind so she answers before he can say anything, “Without anything at all?Thirteen days.I was young and stupid and didn’t plan correctly.I had to make a single ration last three weeks a couple times, though.That was almost as bad.”

 

He looks at her, considering, but doesn’t say anything else.She wants to ask him what he’s thinking, but she’s used up her bravery for the day.They eat the rest of their soup in silence. 

 

Despite his complaints, Kylo gets a second bowl.

 

~

 

Things get a little easier after that.They don’t seek each other out, but they no longer actively avoid each other, either.She catches him looking at her sometimes, his gaze soft, but evaluating.It shouldn’t scare her as much as it does, it’s not like he has anywhere else to go, either.But the possibility that yet another person might look at her and find her wanting, that _another_ person might leave her has her … nervous. 

 

So, when they stop off on some backwater moon to resupply, she cannot help the anxiety that creeps up her spine when he wanders off while she finishes haggling over spare parts.It gets worse when she finishes and realizes she can’t see him.She casts out her mind wildly, nearly shouting into the Force.His presence feels muted and no, _no_ , how dare he hide from her?How dare he leave her?It was all a lie; he waited until she was complacent, waited until she started to _trust-_

 

A gloved hand touches her elbow and she whirls around in a storm of fear and fury.

 

“What is wrong with you?I thought you were being attacked,” he says, looking at her like she’s a child throwing a tantrum. “You can’t just _do_ that, he’s always looking and he’ll probably find us even if we’re careful, let alone if you-“

 

“I- You left.” Her voice is small and scared and not at all the righteous accusation she means it to be.She sees the small bag in his other hand and feels silly and ashamed.

 

His gaze softens into understanding and all of a sudden it’s like she’s eight years old again.She knows she’s being unreasonable and she cannot stand how weak and vulnerable it makes her feel so she turns quickly and heads towards the ship before he can apologize.

 

~

 

That night, after they’ve stored everything away and are safely, once again, far away from all signs of life, he makes dinner.He takes small packets and canisters out of the bag and adds pinches from each into the bubbling pot.She’s curious, the unfamiliar smells pulling her into the kitchen from her perch in the cockpit.She’s not quite brave enough to ask him about it, though, not with the shame of her earlier outburst still lingering.

 

When he’s done, he brings her a bowl, saying, “Now _this_ is proper food.Or as close as we’re going to get out here.”

 

As always, on the surface, he’s completely smug and cocky, but underneath she can feel a genuine fear.He wants her to like it, wants to do this for her.

 

She takes a tentative sip and all at once she knows his worry is unfounded.New tastes explode on her tongue and she makes a sound that is more than a little embarrassing.When she opens her eyes (apparently she’d closed them), his smirk has slipped into something more natural and relaxed.

 

“What was that?” she asks around the second spoonful that she’s already shoveled into her mouth.

 

“Garlic, mostly.Salt. Some _k’avek._ Nothing too fancy.”

 

“Well,” she says around her fifth mouthful. “I think it’s pretty fancy.”

 

He genuinely smiles at that and says, “I didn’t mean to scare you, earlier.I only wanted to surprise you.”

 

“I know,” she responds, softly. “Thank you.”

 

~

 

They’re still running for their lives.They have no plan, no real allies, nothing but themselves and each other to guide them forward.

 

But now, somehow, that seems at little less daunting, their alliance - a little more grounded.

 

After all, he brought her food.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always had the headcanon about Jakku that, since everyone's life is so centered on food, it has more cultural significance even than what we see in canon.
> 
> shovak - a desert animal of my own creation 
> 
> k'avek - a spice completely of my own creation b/c it's space and they should have weird space spices


End file.
